Love, Individually.

Doubtlessly, the advent of 14 February will find many minds turned to thoughts of romantic relationships. But, is this really a departure from the quotidian? Though V-day may see the increased propagation of chocolate delectables and horticultural offerings, romantic relationships occupy a central spot in everyday experience. That the popular consciousness is preoccupied with thoughts of relationships is evident not only from casual eavesdropping, but also from the plenitude of shows or songs that wax tirelessly about this seemingly most vital preoccupation.

Less prevalent, though, are more mystical notions of Love, with their appeals to a metaphysical union with an Ultimate Reality through which Subject is subsumed into Object – at which point there is no ‘Me’ and there is no ‘You’. Such negation of egocentricity is not a consideration for the modern mind, whose goal is the satisfaction of individual caprices. The Self is paramount, beyond it lies little.

This individualistic ethic is representative of the democratization of emotion which paralleled the rise of society’s democratization. Still, the prime place afforded to romantic relationships in today’s popular consciousness is indicative, perhaps, of a desire by individuals to ‘connect’ with something greater than their Selfs. Of course, in this post-industrialist, post-Enlightenment age, we would naturally be looking for links to ultimate principles. After all, the upshot of capitalism was individualism, while the removal of Religion from the public sphere witnessed a move away from the communitarian towards isolationism.

This is what McGill’s (not Liberia’s) Charles Taylor calls the malaise of modernity: ‘People no longer have a sense of higher purpose.… The dark side of individualism is a centring on the self, which both flattens and narrows our lives, makes them poorer in meaning, and less concerned with others or society.’ The rise of such solipsistic tendencies is attested by Robert Putnam’s seminal studies on the decline of private and public inter-human relationships in Western society.

What this sort of individualism speaks of is a society cut off from ultimate guiding principles. With Religion’s removal seemed to go its ethical upshot as well; the duties-based ethic of old is outmoded in the modern rights-based society. The very basic human sensibilities that are at the core of religious ethics seem to hold no candle to the importance of individual rights. When the touting of liberal values, such as human rights or free speech, seems to trump appeals to civic responsibility, what we have is extremist Liberalism. It was precisely to secure the public sphere from this sort of oppression from ideology that inspired Religion’s removal in the first place.

From whence, then, are we to inspire in ourselves the necessary recognition of humanity in each other in order to occasion the type of kind, just, and responsible society that was the spur of liberalism? Conceptualizations of the Other predicated on common humanity are the province of metaphysical understandings of Love, through which one comes to perceive the multiplicity of things as a reflection of the unicity of things. In perceiving the essential connectedness of things, one comes to appreciate humanity’s commonality, and thus, that to hurt one is to hurt oneself.

However, what seems to prevail in modern society is the individual’s reality and concerns. There is little space thus for the type of Love that forces one outside oneself. If, indeed, we are to create the type of society that is civil and responsible, and which safeguards sensibilities in addition to rights, then we must extend ourselves beyond ourselves and come to know one another on the basis of our common humanity, rather than what so often occurs, our common enmity.